The Joys & Fears of Living Dangerously
In my morning prayers today I confessed that I don't know where I'm going. Though I've been shown bits and pieces, I'm not sure what the greater scheme is but I know I'm moving towards something powerful and meaningful. I can feel it.
These past few weeks I have almost completely slowed down with my goals, my efforts, plans, and work. It's not so much that I lost motivation but I slowed down and questioned what I was running towards. All the still unanswered questions of my life slightly knocked me down and had me sitting and waiting in doubts. Here I am again, fearing the unknown.
We can't know everything at all times yet it doesn't stop us from trying, from knowing as much as possible before making any decisions, researching the mystery out of all topics, and constantly striving to be a head of the game. Yet naturally at some point we run into things that can't easily be answered and that only time and trial can tell, so then comes discomfort and reluctance to move forward with little information.
On the other end of the spectrum:
I love magic. The unseen. The unknown. The endless possibilities. The mysteries of life fuel and pick our curiosities enough to explore and experience the world and all that is around us. So we set forth on a hunt to discover what's out there, know it all, and collect as much as we can to close the case on the mysteries. Yet as soon as the case is cracked and the questions are answered we set forth to tackle even greater questions and experiences.
Man and woman-kind have such an interesting complex relationship with the 'unknown'. It's the cause of our greatest fears as well as the fuel that drives us to explore and take things a step further. At times the unknown can cripple us however there is always the opportunity to instead let it move us forward.
So again, I'm reminded that everything is okay and exactly as it should be. I don't have to know everything to feel good and assured about how things are moving. The little bits and pieces, omens, and synchronicities are enough to take steps forward one at a time. I have to walk and live in this discomfort in order to see and experience what is outside of the box because let's face it most of what I want for my life isn't conventional and easily accepted...it's dangerous.
In his book The Joy of Living Dangerously, Osho says:
"Weaklings, only weaklings, live with the head; afraid, they create a security of logic around themselves. Fearful, they close every window and door—with theology, concepts, words, theories—and inside those closed doors and windows, they hide.”
“Nothing is secure. That is my message. Nothing can be secure, because a secure life will be worse than death. Nothing is certain. Life is full of uncertainties—that is its beauty! You can never come to a moment when you say, “Now I am certain.” When you say you are certain, you simply declare your death; you have commited suicide.”
Yeah, Osho is a pretty intense spiritual warrior. However with a little bit of patience & acceptance of all the uncertainties this "dangerous" life can be joyful as we uncover its beauty.