From my experience, there are two ways that we experience darkness in our lives.
There are the dark, negative energies, entities, and forms that disrupt and seek to destroy our light or get in the way of our blessings. These energies may have been sent our way or exchanged in the midst of painful, traumatic, abusive or violent experiences or even addictive behavior.
This case requires a spiritual intervention, extractions, and a removal from our energy fields so that we can be free. This type of energy can be tricky because we can think that it is us but really it is not a reflection of who we truly are but something we can learn from and let go. There are some who feel that it is our belief in these entities that create them in the first place. If you think someone or something can send you harm in any form, it will affect you.
Though I strongly believe that our mindsets, perspectives, and paradigms create our lives, we aren’t always equipped to handle these energies or vibrate at a frequency where we can not be harmed. As I mentioned, these energies can come at our most vulnerable moments or at times of great fear and it feels VERY real to us. A part of my work as a isangoma or umngoma is to remove these energies, strengthen and guide people so that they are protected, especially in cases where these energies were picked up somewhere down your lineage and you are called to heal it for not only you but for past and future generations.
Then, there is the darkness that is the womb, the cocoon, the cycles and times of transformation that our spirit needs to reflect and change. This kind of darkness occurs often in our lives through the form of sadness, depression, grieving, pain, struggle, and hardship. These times seem so difficult because we feel like we have gotten something wrong, it may be hard to pinpoint the source or cause and we can feel inadequate for not knowing how to be balanced and whole. No matter how hard we try we feel at a lost.
Another symptom in these times is feeling like we don’t belong in this world, that this is not our true home, or that we can’t seem to get things right. From my experience, we feel this way because something in our spirit is calling for deep change, for you to be reborn, for you to pay attention to what hasn’t been working, what needs to stop and be shed so that you can come into the fullness of who you are and what you have been called on the earth to do.
I have found even for myself it is difficult because you want to feel better and be out of this phase but this moment in time was divinely intervened for you to realize great teachings about yourself and your environment. The struggle is very real and if we were living in more ancient or even more community oriented times, the elders or priests would have recognized the signs and guided us through some form of rites of passage.
When I see major transformation come up in a divination or ancestral reading for my clients, I know that they are in need of some form of rites of passage or cleansing so that they can come more fully into their gifts. This is much like ascension symptoms or an awakening happening within you. Though everything seems wrong and off, you are right on time. And much like the cocoon or womb being birthed is very painful, not feeling good is very normal and what is necessary is more awareness and guidance through your re-birthing so that you can shapeshift into the next greater version of you.
This is a time of purging, of letting go, of mastering new skills, and uncovering things about yourself that you never knew. I share this today because I think in the spiritual community we can be fooled into thinking it is all about love and light and we struggle with the dark because we do not understand it, we do not welcome it, and we do not want to face it. If you know anything about the forces of Oya or Kali or any warrior like spirit, they are the ones governing these phases. They are hard us on because they seek to see us think, do, and be more in alignment with our higher self. Sometimes the gods keep calling until you answer.
It is important to remember that as we ask for change, as we ask for what we want, we must also welcome what it TAKES to have what we want. It may require for you to be someone better to receive something greater.
If you are having a hard time right now, consider these words. Get the support you need. We weren’t put on the earth to do this alone. There has always been a village. Your transformation may come in the form of a healer, a ceremony, or just regular life circumstances that blow the old away and force you into the new.